I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize