Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
