i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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