apparently the secret to your success is patron
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
where are my eyebrows?
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