Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
