omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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