It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
NoShamevember. You game?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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