i always forget guys have bellybuttons
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
