i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
