every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
