When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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