they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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