did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
