i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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