so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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