woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
