We named our party play list daddy issues
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize