Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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