census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
