We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
