is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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