he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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