I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
