btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize