so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
