Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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