I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize