That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
