He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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