To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This girl is more easily done than said...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
