The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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