the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need moral support for this bender
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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