I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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