then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
