Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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