He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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