fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
