There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
