Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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