Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
