About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
