i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
