it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
