During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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