my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
