A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
