I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
