My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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