the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
