I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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