i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
