I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
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If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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