i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
