you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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