god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
where does the pee come out of this thing
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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