would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
