Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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