worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
