but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
