Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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