are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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